W.A.Y.S

 Let’s delve into the breakdown of the word way. When we look at how the word is used in context we can use the word as a noun or adverb. For this material, how I want us to look at the word way when used as a noun is through the lens of the most common meanings; route, distance, direction, possibility, manner, method, condition, want, and free space. However, when used as an adverb, the word way is focused on emphasis and place. Notice how way as an adverb doesn’t have as many common meanings nor does it go into much detail when used as it does when being used as a noun; yet still requires a level of focus and intention. As we go through life trying to find our way, it requires that we critically think, be accepting of the choices we make no matter the direction life may push us in; the possibilities are infinite, make room to embrace the conditions or new versions of ourselves as a result of the choices we have made, and accept that the route will not be how we sometimes plan or intend for things to go. Do remember that your life is tailored uniquely to you. The common meaning of way as a noun and adverb coexists with one another because we only can get places in life through focus and intention. Where we want to go in life requires a level of focus and intention to be pushed in a certain direction. Life is about perspective and allows us the free space to constantly think. No matter which way life is taking you now, you are exactly where you are supposed to be. Be mindful not to think your way into certain lifestyles because no matter how much focus or intention you may have, how you think or speak will determine how and where life may take you. Flow and not force your way through life.

Lessons Before the Test

 They say life is a blessing, but it’s also your greatest lesson. The thing with life is you’ll receive the test way before the lesson. That’s the truth so embrace it. Embrace it not because the truth is inevitable, but because there is joy in acceptance. I like to say that acceptance gives you the power to evolve into something greater. Acceptance allows you to take back your power in the choices or decisions you may not be too pleased with. Sometimes we find ourselves staying stuck in the lesson of life when the truth is you should embrace it, not because it’s taught you something, but because it’s preparation. Each lesson before the test is preparation for your higher self. What doesn’t make sense in that exact moment eventually becomes crystal clear when the time is right. That’s the truth so embrace it, not because it’s the truth, but because I’m you and by the view of a few, no one can argue that we are any different. Although we may share many things in common, the most important one is life as it comes, and embracing any truths of its lessons. 

Perception of My Reflection

My reflection has become an aesthetic.

 In fact, it is my reflection that consumer consumes to become. 

To become it is to understand where I'm from that leaves me feeling numb. Numb because my reflection is your perception consumed by the world's deception. Deception blinded by your ancestor's misconceptions. 

The type of misconception that can only be healed with a mother's affection. 

The perception that needs correction is not my reflection; it is perfection. 

Perfection feels like rejection when you've lived your life in protection from your reflection; not because you hate who you are but because the world does. 

"Who cares what the world thinks," they say 

I do when it controls my pay that's snatched away if ever threatened. 

Threatened by my reflection the same reflection that has become an aesthetic

The aesthetic filled in a world of cosmetics,  it is my reflection that consumer consumes to become.

How can you become when you don't understand where I'm from.

Freedom from the oppressor? How does one measure? if you haven't felt the pressure 

This isn't dress up; you don't get to be aesthetic in my world. 

Complexion has become earned, learned, or preferred to the world complexion is one-third, blurred, absurd, and a word.

To me, complexion is a struggle something I've had to juggle. 

My reflection is an aesthetic that doesn't seem to fit most molds because it's bold. 

So bold that most fold at my words except I didn't speak I just existed. 

The words scream so loudly except no one can hear instead they fear while they cheer because my reflection has become an aesthetic.

Perception has to be more than what meets the eye but it is my reflection that makes me cry, not because I'm sad but because your perception of my reflection is consumed by the world's deception

and I'm afraid that a mother's affection is not enough to push me in the direction of accepting my reflection.

Correction

I'm afraid that a mother's protection from my reflection is the very thing that blinded me to see just how the world would view me. 

And no degree would force them to agree that I would be good enough. 

Tough 

It's a hard pill to swallow that no matter what my complexion will follow.

Not who I am, what I've done, or what I've won.

You know I think they tell us to achieve all that we can achieve just to put us in spaces where they hold the power.

Spaces where my complexion speaks for me and not who I am, what I've done, or what I've won.

Don't dare question superiority or authority because if you do you're just the "angry black woman." 

Maybe I am angry. 

Angry because being a black woman has become popularized by pop culture.

Culture vultures 

Everything is an aesthetic

But I bet if you had to walk a mile in my shoes you would still choose to be you. 

Luckily you have the choice of choosing 

Me? 

The only thing I can choose is to not be angry because if I don't

I'm just the "angry black woman." 

You Can't Heal What You Don't Feel

 

HEAL

 Human beings have the common goal of achieving happiness within their life. Most people may equate success to the emotion of happiness meaning, if they’re not successful they won’t be happy. Everyone will have a different idea of what success means to them. However, when it comes to happiness, I have learned that happiness is inner peace. What this means is it’s safe to eliminate the idea or perception of what society defines happiness to be simply because society teaches us to equate happiness to things that are monetary or materialistic. Elisabeth Kubler Ros said, “there are only two emotions: love and fear.” Joy, happiness, acceptance, compassion, etc., are all derivatives of love. While the emotions of jealousy, guilt, shame, anxiety, anger, depression are the derivatives of fear. It’s both necessary and important to make decisions out of love and not fear because fear is a protective emotion. Even though the fear-based mind has helped humans through evolution and living through some of the toughest times, the fear-based mindset only helps us in survival. It is the love-based mindset that will help us grow and prosper. Here’s a basic scenario, let’s say you have a friend who verbally insults you or attacks you through verbal abuse. If you respond from a fear-based mind you may act protective or respond through aggression or impulse. When you do this you’re making decisions based on scarcity, ego, and insecurities. Yet on the contrary, if you were to respond from a love-based mind, you could practice a moment of stillness or mindfulness. If you decide to respond with love, you will show compassion and kindness to your friend. So how do we work on becoming aware of choosing love over fear? True growth comes from how quickly you’re able to shift and navigate from a fear-based mind to a love-based mind. So here’s a step by step guide of how to shift your mind: 

1. Recognize the thought (the only way to get better is to admit and recognize that YOU have a true problem). (Why am I feeling this? Why did I make that decision? Why did I say that?) 
2. Forgive yourself (this is the most important step. Be gentle with yourself, your imperfections, your past, and negative patterns associated with your past). (You can forgive yourself by being grateful for your thoughts that no longer serve your purpose and embrace what you have to look forward to since you know what you don’t want). 
3. Choose again (what’s the best feeling or thought for me to have right now?) (This is sometimes very difficult to do so creating your affirmation and saying it aloud helps you see the feeling or thought through to the end. 

All in all, hanging on to any emotion causes suffering. Even chasing emotions causes one to attract suffering their way. One must remember that love and fear are both impermanent. When you remember this you avoid suffering. Choose love over fear while making decisions or responding to someone, because holding on to any emotion will only bring suffering in life.

Lesson in every L

 Tell me your toxic trait without realizing it’s a toxic trait? Mine is the need to control (covers eyes). I know, but before becoming judgmental hear me out. Have you ever tried to control the outcome of a situation or experience in your life; for example, job promotion or relationship outcome (romantic or family), etc.? If you have, chances are you haven’t noticed that this is a level of control. Don’t get me wrong it’s nothing wrong with having control of your life, happiness, and accomplishments. Control becomes unhealthy when you try to control how the outcome will turn out. Instead, try flowing with the way of life. What this means is being open to the possibilities life has to off no matter if the outcome isn’t what you intense for it to be but anchored in faith to understand that the moment you release control, you attract instead of chasing. This year has taught me so much patience, love, compassion, awareness, and transparency that anything not in alignment with these things serves me no purpose. When things are not in alignment with your frequency it doesn’t make the person/thing wrong in morals or value, it just means it isn’t within your vibration. Throughout the year everyone grows and experiences life on life terms this is completely normal. It is okay to grow closer to things that fulfill you and grow apart from things that do not. Sometimes when you try to balance holding onto old behaviors while learning new ones to benefit you, you stagnate your true growth because you’re in constant battle with who you were vs who you want to become. I look at things that no longer serve me purpose as lessons or areas of opportunity to improve. Why? Because there will come a day where you think you’ve grown or elevated in an area and will be challenged or tested to see if you’ve grown based on how you choose to respond. That’s why with lessons and life, you want to look at it as a continuous cycle, meaning no matter how much you elevate as a person be willing to grow in all your relationships to become a better person for you/others, or to help someone become a better person. Sometimes our purpose is much deeper than we might be able to see with our eyesight. In some cases, it may seem unfortunate or difficult at times to have to make a sacrifice for the betterment of others. You may be hurt at the crossfire but sometimes it isn’t always about you but others. This year above all taught me humility and that is to not think less of myself but to think of myself less. 

Beautifully Broken

I’m ready to get undressed. Not literally undressed, but figuratively undressed. I’m talking about the kind of undressing that everyone is afraid to do. The stripping of who you are in order to become someone new. The stripping of the many layers of possible pain someones caused you. The inhabitants of pain that’s defined you for years. What you’re afraid to show but hide behind. I’m ready for you. Ready to become someone new to the point where I look in the mirror and say who? Not because I don’t recognize who I am but because I grew. I’m no longer what I’ve been through and I must say I’m enjoying this view I feel so renewed. We all can improve never assume that you’re too used. We all are a little bruised, some more than others. It takes a certain kind of tender, love, and care to tend to wounds. It’s harder than it sounds. How do I know? Because I’m found.