Mental Investments

Our greatest asset is our mind, and and our ability to control our thoughts. We can not become masters of time management if we first can’t control the pathway of our thoughts. Every second of everyday is severely crucial. Although it may not feel like it, the time we spend thinking allots for majority of or success. If we do not think about above average things, simplicity will be the fruitful labor we put out into our lives. It’s not always the act of physically doing things that counts as sometimes wasting time, but sometimes even how we think is a waste. if If it doesn’t add to your current value mentally or physically to where you would like to be in life, then it is a waste. Take lessons from things that occur in our life, but don’t spend so much time allowing simple things to feel at home in your mind. Granted no one is perfect and some days our minds may not be the best. We have to train our minds to stay active and productive. My way to practice this is by blogging. I feel that it is the best way of productivity because it allows for me to channel my thoughts and ideas while keeping my creativity active. We don’t realize that our mind is the reason we are in some cases and situations. Our mental should be just as healthy as we keep our physical bodies. We have to become better thinkers if we want better results in our life. It goes back to “if you can believe it you can achieve it.”

The Art of Self-Reliance in Dating

I remember the day I fell in love for the first time. The day I couldn’t see myself without my first love. The codependency began to reach great heights. Which is why I believe I attracted him; I gave off an energy of need that would later become a psychological reliance on my partner. I began to love this person so much, that it became of second nature to me. Loving my first love became so easy. The way we loved one another was simply unmatched that we began to transfer energies and become codependent of one another. Maybe that is why God chose to remove this aspect from my life. When we become needy of a person and lose sight of the other things that matter, things will almost always transpire to interrupt what has now become a norm of ours. What was then seen as my peace being interrupted, was really God showing me not to love someone so much that I forget to love and support myself. As women, we have a nurturing spirit in us as is that when we love men, we try to mold, shape, or save them. When really, we shouldn’t look at men as conquest or projects. It isn’t our job to raise men we date. We cannot fill the void that the woman (his mother) in his life needed to fill and men can’t fill the void in our lives that our fathers needed to fill. Learn what these voids are, or you will give off the energy of whatever that void is, and attract a man that will do nothing but fill that same void but instead of loving him, you’ll become solely codependent of needing him to fill this void. What you thought would be love at one point, now becomes an excessiveness because you need this person for the lack of what may be missing in you. It’s always good to learn yourself before jumping into dating simply because when we know ourselves and love ourselves, we project that into dating then start to date with a purpose. Relationships not working has nothing to do with the other party and everything to do with ourselves. When your relationship doesn’t work out simply go back to square one by asking “what about me attracted me to this person?”

Butterfly Effect

We are beginning to enter a season where many of us experience many different transitions and emotions. This is the season I like to think of as the caterpillar season. We embark upon many journeys and constantly stay productive. During this process, we can allow ourselves to grow and develop. We are able to gain knowledge and rid ourselves of the things we may not be proud of. This is the perfect season to work on breaking bad habits. Spend this time soaking up the positive energy around you so that it can help you reach your fullest growth. Make room for change and be open to the greatest phenomenon. Though this process may be difficult, we can appreciate understanding that with growing pains comes the cocoon stage of our season. Where we are then protected and provided with comfort and strength to be able to withstand and survive our next stage of life. The cocoon stage is the most patient stage where we are sitting and waiting patiently to be able to reveal ourselves. Not until we hear from God is when the time is right for us to become butterflies. I like to view our seasons changing as the butterfly effect. The weather is changing and with that so are we. Seasonal changes come into our lives so that we can always make room for new things. We have to trust the caterpillar in order to appreciate being the butterfly.

The Dynamics in Self-Development

The most difficult part of our development is understanding the dynamics of who we are, what we are, and where we come from. In order to be our best selves, we must understand that we are products of our parents and how they are, is who we have the potential to be whether it be negative or positive.  If we don't take time out to understand the dynamics, we open up ourselves to become the things we may not like about our parents. A mother and father's job is to raise their child or children in the image of what either of them couldn't be when they were growing up. For example, the bond between a father and daughter. A father shows himself to his daughter by presenting himself in the image of how a man should conduct himself. If that dad does a poor job, she will have a poor image of men and begin involving herself with men who are in the image of her father. Which vice versa when a mom is developing her son, his image of women would most likely come from his mother. Even if our biological parents aren't the ones to necessarily raise us or be involved in our lives as much, whomever those prominent figures end up being during our self-development, will determine how we view the person of the opposite sex. Our self-development has a lot to do with how we develop and choose to form relationships throughout our life. If we aren't given the proper developmental skills, our self-development will be just as difficult to focus on due to us being unaware of certain skills we should possess. In fact, our self-development is so crucial, that it controls the direction we will take our life depending on what skills and values were instilled in us. By not only becoming aware of our family dynamics, but also being able to understand the dynamics of our background, will help guide us down a path to allow us to reveal these things about yourself so that people have the choice to either accept where you are and stay in your life, or accept where you are and exit. That is the most beneficial thing you can do to a person when you understand the dynamics of your self-development; that is the benefit of allowing them to have a choice. If we don't understand the dynamics of ourselves, we may experience conflict every now and then that forces us to first blame people for why things may not work out with us. It's important for us to look at life as a positive attribute given to us. even if we ever experience a situation that may seem like a conflict, we can use these times to re-evaluate and tap into our dynamics. 

Mastering the Art of Self Control

Self-control comes in all different shapes and sizes when dealing with different individuals. What works for one person may not work for the next. Some people are born with higher levels of self-control than others. There are some cases where individuals who you come in contact with may be prone to short-term temptations, and in cases like that, a person has to learn to master the art of self-control. The easiest way to practice self-control is by first protecting self from self. We are the controllers behind the energy we surround ourselves with as well as what we let in and out of our actual environment around us. A way of not being too hard on yourself when it comes to self-control is, surrounding yourself with people who will help support you in avoiding the temptation of whatever it is you're trying to control. This is most effective because people allow you not to become disappointed or discouraged if you slip up or make mistakes, they teach you the perseverance behind mastering self-control. We have to learn both the balance part of self-control and also the calmness behind it. Knowing to have a balance between messing up and holding yourself accountable is what will keep you from giving up on yourself and continuing to have the willpower. Mastering self-control not only teaches self-discipline, but it also shows statistically that people who carry more self-control, do more things to take care of themselves more than with a person lacking actual self-control. Self-control is really something that If not gained it can have a negative effect on how you interact amongst relationships, your confidence level in yourself, and your overall peace and calmness of life.  

The Transaction of Relationships

We go through life not really paying attention to relationships and how they can begin to affect us once we get older. As we grow through life, the rules begin to become more strict and we become mindful of our relationships and its benefits. Once we discover what we will and will not settle for in relationships, we filter and differentiate what is beneficial, and get rid of what isn't benefiting us or no longer serving a purpose. We have to understand that no matter WHAT type of relationship it is, we must treat ANY relationship like a transaction process. The transaction process of a relationship isn't monetary nor does it have to be tangible. Relationships are more so about depositing into someone and not always taking withdrawals where there is not even exchange. You can't be the only person in a relationship not benefiting. I know to hear that it may sound a little selfish, however, a person you're connected to is reaping the benefits of your existence in their life, while you are stunting your growth. Sounds a little outrageous, don't you think? All too often we want to be the fixer of a person's life and we don't even pay attention that we take the focus off of ourselves. In the midst of trying to help and fix someone else, we have to ask ourselves, is this person able to help me in that same way or another way if needed? Too many deposits into another's account, and you will leave yourself overdrawn with nothing left to provide to your homefront. Which is why it is important to have an even amount of deposits and exchanges. It isn't good to be the highest valued person in any relationship because while helping others grow, who do you have to look to and continue your growth process? Life is way too short to invest unneeded time and energy into someone who isn't making the proper transactions into your life. I myself have to take a look at my life and begin to differentiate who I need and who I just want around for pleasure. We can't be afraid to lose a person or a relationship. We have to look at this as a process of giving not only yourself time to grow, but someone else as well since you both just aren't helping one another grow. We have to put all the focus on our growth before tending to someone else. Sometimes it is impossible to focus all on yourself when you have someone else to think about.